Why is this so hard?
Okay, yes, I am the one who created No Social Media November.
I have absolutely loved participating in this challenge, while also encouraging others to try it with me. But, no one said it’d be easy. This year, it’s been very hard to not have any social media available to me, especially Youtube and Netflix. See, I used to be very addicted to Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter, and then after doing this challenge a few times, I permanently stopped using each of these one by one. However, I didn’t realize that in that process I was replacing my addiction with more ‘traditional media’; binging Youtube videos, and Survivor and Breaking Bad. I was finishing whole seasons of Survivor in 2 days. My addiction shifted from scrolling on Instagram for hours, to watching dumb videos and entertaining shows for hours.
Then, I realized, oh these are social media too. These platforms are still trying to addict me and grab my attention too. I physically couldn’t stop watching TV, and it began to consume me (This has been all year this year, 2023).
For No Social Media November I made a hard commitment to not use ANY distraction tools, even games. There’s been a few minor slip ups, but at the end of the day when all I want to do is relax and watch TV, I suddenly ‘can’t’.
This illuminated to me why I started endlessly consuming in the first place. I struggle with depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues. I have a lot of trauma and doubts. I have been fully suppressing these things by going on my phone constantly in order to ‘feel better’. But, this is only a short term bandaid. Now that I don’t have a pacifier to turn to, I am left just…. thinking.
Sitting with my thoughts has been very hard. I feel sad, not worthy, and full of lack. These suck to feel. But I realized that feeling them, and more importantly, allowing them, is the key. If you can dive into yourself, allowing the emotions, feeling them in your body, and understand why they are there, something beautiful happens.
I realized that suppression is my enemy, and I owe it to myself to be present within my own life and to not allow consumption to ruin me. After all, these feelings would come out in other, detrimental ways anyway. It’s all in how you view it.
Just know, this is hard for me too, and I am SO DAMN PROUD of all ya’ll making healthy choices for yourself this month and deviating from the norm. You’re a king/queen!
~ Maddie
